🚦 How to Get Out of Your Own Way

Why Hard Conversations Cause Us to Panic, Checking In On Doge Progress To-Date, and Alphabet's Big Earnings Beat

Author

Katie Perry
April 26, 2025

Welcome to Tuesday Thursday Saturday! I share a snapshot of trending stories across business, tech, and culture three times a week. Subscribe and tell me what you want to hear about next! - KP

The Big Story: Understanding the Things We Think and Do Not Say

Sometimes when I get too in my head about something, I remind myself that we’re all just chilling on a floating rock in the middle of a vast and seemingly endless universe. Who cares!

But beyond the “DGAF” facade, even the coolest of cucumbers cares about how others perceive us. For example, lately, I have been wondering why it is so hard to say the things that matter. Not just at work, like giving tough feedback or asking for a raise. In our personal lives, too. Telling someone they hurt you. Setting a boundary. Saying no.

I didn’t need the Google Gemini translation because my friend Katey has been using this one for literal YEARS.

It’s astonishing how much time we waste dancing around things or just holding them in altogether. A few words could save hours, even months, of stress. If we could just get used to the discomfort of having hard conversations, we’d all be better off in the long run. So, why do we hold back?

“Not a memo — a mission statement!” - Jerry Maguire (1997)

Psychologically, a lot is going on here. First, there is the primal fear of rejection. Research shows that social rejection triggers the same part of the brain as physical pain, which is why imagining someone frowning at you can feel physically uncomfortable.

There is also the fear of conflict. A 2022 study in Scientific Reports found that people often avoid situations like salary negotiations even when they know it costs them, simply because they fear the confrontation.

Insecurity plays a role, too. Many of us worry we will say the wrong thing, become overwhelmed by emotions, or damage a relationship. People with high communication apprehension, meaning a fear of speaking in general, often experience racing heartbeats or blank minds when facing hard conversations.

Biologically, we are fighting against our own survival wiring. When we anticipate a tough talk, the amygdala fires. Our body reacts with a full fight-or-flight response. Our brain treats an uncomfortable conversation the same way it would treat a physical threat!

I find that most things become a lot less scary when you understand them better. The next step: how do we train ourselves to get out of our way and just say the damn thing? Here’s what the experts say.

Label the emotion

Psychologist Nick Wignall recommends starting by naming what you are feeling. If you can tell yourself "this is just fear" or "this is just anxiety," it separates you from the emotion and gives you more control. Labeling your feelings can reduce their intensity.

Lower the stakes

Reframing the conversation also helps. Berkeley Executive Education suggests reminding yourself that this is just a conversation, not a catastrophe (Berkeley Executive Education, 2023). Your body might be acting like it is life or death, but it is not. Lowering the stakes mentally can calm your nerves enough to begin.

Plan the first sentence, not the entire script

Instead of scripting the whole conversation, Wignall advises preparing just your opening line. Something simple like, "I want to talk about something that has been on my mind," is enough. Over-planning increases anxiety because you try to predict things you cannot control. Confidence comes from starting, not from rehearsing every possible outcome.

Focus on your values

Another tip from the book and thought leadership platform Radical Candor is to root yourself in why you are speaking up in the first place. Hard conversations happen because you care about the relationship or the project, not because you are looking for a fight. In other words, don’t ignore why you care about something to the extent it makes talking about it so difficult — this will show you are coming from a genuine place.

Reps, reps, reps

Courage grows with practice. According to Wignall, you build confidence not by waiting to feel fearless but by doing small, brave things over and over. Nobody turns DGAF overnight, but the more you embrace it, the easier it gets.

Get comfortable with discomfort

Finally, expect it to feel uncomfortable. Berkeley emphasizes that feeling nervous or awkward is not a sign you should back off; it is a sign you are doing something meaningful. If you wait to feel completely ready, you will wait forever. The goal is not to eliminate fear. The goal is to act despite it.

The truth is, hard conversations are hard because they matter. They threaten connection, belonging, and stability. But avoiding them does not protect us. It isolates us.

Daily Rip Live Recap: Google, ServiceNow Earnings Beat, Where US Treasury Outflows May Be Going, and Boy Band Preferences

Watch us every weekday, M-Th at 9 AM ET on YouTube, X, and in the Stocktwits app.

Every weekday, Shay Boloor and I run down the biggest market news and events LIVE on Stocktwits’ morning show, The Daily Rip Live. Here’s some of what we covered on the latest episode, which featured three special guests: Andrew McCormick, head of eToro US, Daniel Newman, CEO at the Futurum Group, and Olivier Roussy Newton, CEO and Founder of DeFi Technologies.

  • 6:10 | Retail investor trends with Andrew McCormick, Head of eToro US

  • 9:07 | "Buy buy buy" (the dip) behaviors & DAMN does Andrew know his boy bands!

  • 10:03 | Behind my boy band crush strategy (Howie Dorough forever)

  • 12:16 | Check out Shay Boloor's sick leather jacket that he refuses to wear on Fox Business Network

  • 13:16 | Our pal Daniel Newman pops by to admit his own New Kids on the Block affinity before diving into some hot tech takes following direct convos with execs at ServiceNow and other major players

  • 15:45 | Daniel explains why he believes enterprise AI is poised to outperform

  • 19:25 | ServiceNow earnings recap — the gloves are coming off $NOW ( ▲ 0.71% )  

  • 29:40 | Egregious Alphabet Inc. disrespect?! $GOOG ( ▲ 1.47% )  

  • 33:10 | Olivier Francois Roussy Newton, Chairman/CEO of DeFi Technologies on crypto trends & where Treasury outflows might be going $DEFTF ( ▲ 10.84% )  

Hear Shay and me yap about the markets every weekday at 9 a.m. ET on X (@stocktwits), YouTube, LinkedIn, or in your Stocktwits app. Follow me there — I’m @stocktwitsKP!

Now Here’s a Chart

Tesla reported earnings earlier this week. Despite a 71% hit to sales numbers YoY — which analysts ascribe to Musk’s “Doge distractions” and increased polarity — the stock is up about 24% in the last 5 days. $TSLA ( ▲ 9.8% )  

Now, the market has had a bit of a recovery week, but the surge in confidence is also due to comments Musk made during their earnings call in which he said he would eventually be coming back to Tesla full-time.

Why? As a “special government employee,” he is only allowed to work a government job for 130 days per year. The clock is ticking, so let’s check in on Doge’s original cost savings ambitions and where the program stands today.

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Tuesday Thursday Saturday is written by Katie Perry, owner of Ursa Major Media, which provides fractional marketing services and strategy in software, tech, consumer products, professional services, and other industries. She is also the co-host of Stocktwits’ Daily Rip Live show.

Disclaimer: The contents here reflect recaps and summaries of pre-reported or published data, news, and trends. I have cited sources and context for the information provided to the best of my ability. The purpose of the newsletter is to inform and educate on larger trends shaping business and culture — this is NOT investment advice. As an investor, you should always do your own research before making any decisions about your money or your portfolio.