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The Big Story: Learning Fast and Letting Go

I’m probably my own worst critic. The kind that doesn’t clock out. The voice in my head isn’t necessary loud, but it is persistent. It’s the one that reminds me my mile was 15 seconds faster last week. That I forgot to include the right person on an email. That maybe I put my foot in my mouth with a friend, again, because I’m an idiot. It’s usually not catastrophic. But it’s always annoying.

Why is that the voice inside our head so … mean? We can be endlessly patient with other people’s mistakes and quick to say “everyone messes up” or “you’re being too hard on yourself.” But when it’s ourselves? One stupid slip, and we’re rethinking every decision we’ve ever made. 

I don’t know about you, but I would never speak to a friend the way I sometimes speak to myself. And yet, here we are. Why is that the case?

Part of it is how our brains are wired. Psychologists call it the “negativity bias.” We’re naturally more tuned into what goes wrong than what goes right. Thousands of years ago, this kept us alive. Now, it mostly means we obsess over the one awkward comment in a meeting and forget the ten things we did well that day.

There’s also what we absorb growing up. In many cultures, you’re taught that achievement equals worth, and that kind of pressure doesn’t just vanish. It becomes internalized, subtle, and, eventually, automatic.

All of this is bad for us. High self-criticism correlates with anxiety, depression, and even physical illness. And yet many of us still think being hard on ourselves is how we improve. But according to the experts, self-criticism doesn’t sharpen us – it drags us down.

The big mistake is confusing self-criticism with accountability. They are not the same.

Accountability says, “That didn’t go as I wanted. What can I do differently?” It assumes growth is possible. It’s grounded in clarity and respect. Self-criticism just loops: “You messed up. Again.” It’s shame disguised as motivation.

All right, all right. Enough of the woo-woo psychoanalysis. Let’s get to how we break the cycle.

I read a ton of self-help articles that felt warm and fuzzy but didn’t offer much by way of actionable knowledge. Then I saw a framing from psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff, and it clicked. She recommends treating mistakes as data points, not identity markers.

You made a decision. → It had a result. → Now what?

Here’s a playbook to follow to stop a doom spiral in its tracks.

1. State the facts. “I missed the deadline.” Not “I’m a failure.” You are not the mistake.

2. Identify the cause. Poor planning? Lack of clarity? Distraction?

3. Find the learning. What would help you next time?

4. Important: Write it down. Labeling the insight helps your brain move on.

5. Take responsibility. Especially if others were impacted. It sucks, but it’s the right thing to do.

6. Take an action. Any action! Put it in your iPhone notepad. Set a reminder. Build one small safeguard.

7. Then, do something else. A task, a walk, a reset. Or, if you’re easily motivated by Celsius and Fleetwood Mac like me, you might opt to deep clean your entire apartment.

And if it’s a mistake you keep making? That’s where habit meets pattern. The goal isn’t to shame yourself into remembering. The goal is to reduce the likelihood you’ll forget. Make the cue external (a sticky note, a calendar flag, a friend who can call you out), and make it easy to act on. Focus on the system, not the slip.

Then, you gotta move on. Of course, we want to be accountable, and of course, we’d like to pretend mistakes don’t happen. But according to the research, holding on to them does little to help us grow.

Mistakes are a side effect of trying. If you’re not messing up, you’re probably not doing much at all. There’s a late 2000s Internet meme about former Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman and his unique strategy for advancing the ball down the field, which is best summarized as: “Screw it. I’m throwing it deep!” Sometimes, we lob it deep and hope for the best, and things don’t go as planned, but that’s OK. And sometimes, after some time has passed, it’s something we can laugh about.

I will close with a quote from Bruce Springsteen — who is, for the record, one of my favorite people and definitely NOT an enemy of the state as he has been recently described.

The Boss says the trick in life is holding two truths at once: one, that you’re the baddest ass in town, and two, that you suck. And if you can hold both — see your flaws without losing sight of your worth — that’s where the growth is. It’s not about being perfect or falling apart. It’s about learning to stand in the middle with your eyes open.

Daily Rip Live: We Are So Back! Salesforce’s $8B Bet, Stablecoin Juggernaut Files for IPO, and Apple at Risk

Every weekday, we cover the biggest market news and events LIVE on Stocktwits’ morning show, The Daily Rip Live. Here’s a recap of what we covered on Tuesday’s show.

• 2:15 | X outages all weekend, but I am lazy and refuse to rebuild on Bluesky.

• 4:00 | Shay meets some fans!

• 4:42 | EU tariffs pushed back to July 9th, markets rally in response.

• 6:50 | Is Apple going to become the next Intel? What do they need to do to regain their edge? $AAPL ( ▲ 1.0% )  $INTC ( ▲ 2.98% )  

• 13:39 | Why does the OpenAI + io announcement look like an in memoriam? 

• 22:00 | Tim Cook not invited on Saudi Arabia girls’ trip?

• 23:10 | Salesforce makes an $8B bet as it tries to pivot from seat-based to consumption model pricing. $CRM ( ▲ 2.12% )  

• 31:51 | Temu parent company stock slides following rocky Q1, sales & marketing are 50% revenue? But these ads are terrible? $PDD ( ▲ 2.2% )  

• 37:45 | Stablecoin giant Circle readies for IPO, is this the summer of stablecoin? $USDC.X ( ▼ 0.02% )  

• 41:20 | AI shopping assistants are here, and they are going to be disruptive. $V ( ▲ 0.75% )  $MA ( ▲ 1.18% )  

• 46:20 | AI is killing entry-level jobs, and I’m glad I am not 21 years old right now.

• 49:51 | Glass half full view of the new world order

• 56:01 | Nvidia reports earnings tomorrow! $NVDA ( ▲ 1.92% )  

• 59:40 | Onlyfans vs. Nvidia: A tale of two career paths. See below.

Now Here’s a Chart

It’s Nvidia earnings week and everyone is talking about them. Sure, it’s an impressive business, and a lot of bulls have high hopes for their earnings report on Wednesday. But you know what business is more revenue-efficient than them?

OnlyFans.

Reading List

• Consumer sentiment jumps after U.S.-China trade truce (Axios)

• Tesla’s Europe sales plunge 49% on brand damage, rising competition (CNBC) - Editor’s Note: Musk recently addressed this and didn’t seem to phased by it; Europe accounts for about 20% of their sales. $TSLA ( ▲ 1.17% )  

• Nvidia stock poised to swing more than 7% as crucial earnings report will test the market rally (Yahoo! Finance) $NVDA ( ▲ 1.92% )  

• Q2 brought calm, but not confidence as CMOs spend with caution (Digiday)

• Volvo to cut 3,000 jobs as Trump tariffs rattle auto market (The Hill) $VLVLY ( ▼ 0.33% )  

• Amazon coders say they’ve had to work harder, faster by using AI (NY Post) $AMZN ( ▲ 1.89% )  

• Here are the nuclear fission startups backed by Big Tech (Tech Crunch) $GOOG ( ▲ 1.17% )  $META ( ▲ 2.9% )  $MSFT ( ▲ 0.88% )  

• Stablecoin Issuer Tether to Retain ‘Strong Focus’ on Markets Outside US (PYMNTS) $USDT.X ( ▼ 0.0% )  

• Knicks Comeback Win Is Good News For NBA Playoff TV Ratings (Front Office Sports)

• Diamonds are forever? Not with tariffs in the way (CNBC)

• Interns designed Coca-Cola’s new “Sprite and tea” flavor (Fast Company) $KO ( ▼ 0.7% )  

🎧 Now playing: “In the Flesh” - Pink Floyd

Tuesday Thursday Saturday is written by Katie Perry, owner of Ursa Major Media, which provides fractional marketing services and strategy in software, tech, consumer products, professional services, and other industries. She is also the co-host of Stocktwits’ Daily Rip Live show.

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Disclaimer: The contents here reflect recaps and summaries of pre-reported or published data, news, and trends. I have cited sources and context for the information provided to the best of my ability. The purpose of the newsletter is to inform and educate on larger trends shaping business and culture — this is NOT investment advice. As an investor, you should always do your own research before making any decisions about your money or your portfolio.